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The Quiet Riot (1998 Dansantes)

 
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Topaz
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:31 pm    Post subject: The Quiet Riot (1998 Dansantes) Reply with quote

The Quiet Riot (1998 Dansantes)

Note: Because it is just too humerous to not be saved for the ages for the enjoyment of the patrons of Twilight Isle and for those who just enjoy the little goblins of the isle. The story was originally posted in small segments over the space of a couple of months.

Dansantes's player, if you ever find your way here and get to read the reposting of your story, thank you for all the laughs.
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Topaz
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Quiet Riot (1998 Dansantes)


Oh, the goblins were in a tizzy. Dunn had placed the final straw on the poor camel’s back and it broke, along with a lot of china and crockery. The kitchen was in a shambles. One little green goblin stared lusterless at the mess, clutching what might have been a soup tureen at one time in his little fingers.

The others scurried about with brooms and dustpans, soap and rags, trying to get the room in order before the Archmage Tournament the following week. A larger goblin staggered through the mess, clutching a piece of paper in his hand.

“Brothers and sisters,” he cried. “The time has come to unite!” He waved what he later explained was a petition in their faces. “It is time we went on strike! A strike against Dunn!”

The cheering was deafening.
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Topaz
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Twilight Island was settled from its hosting of magical contests, but now stood as witness to the organizational meeting for the combined union called Greater Army of Rhydin Brotherhood Against Goblin Exploitation, or GARBAGE. This meeting represented the chance for the goblins to determine if they wished to be represented by this union. Present to observe the proceedings were associates of various DoM duelists, officials from Rhydin to record events, and a few in attendance out of simply
curiosity.

The goblins had assembled in the bleachers while the observers took seats at the tables near the rings and bar. A podium had been situated in front of the bleachers. The rings were quiet, but the goblins were noisy.

Morg took position at the podium, and opened the meeting with three sharp taps of a gavel (which was actually a meat mallet, and one of the few things that survived the recent explosion in the kitchen.) The goblins pretty much ignored the taps. Morg hammered away at the podium only to have most of the goblins continue babbling amongst themselves while a small group clapped along with the hammering as if it were the beginning of some sort of cheer.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Taking an alternate approach, Morg boomed from the podium certain expletives that had most of the goblins scratching their heads as to the meaning. With the noise abated, Morg tapped again with the gavel, and called the meeting to order. “We are gathered here today to cast ballot as to if we should unionize against the ~tyranny~ that has befallen us. To begin, we must needs call role to insure those present are eligible to vote.”

And the role call began.

Morg, “Zerm!” Zerm snorted present.

“Brak!” A growl.

“Prak!” A snort.

“Qurt!” A growl.

“Snarg!” A burp.

“Togda!” A snort.

“Fnaught!” A crash as the startled Fnaught woke and fell from the bleachers.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And the role call continued for quite a while, each name bellowed answered by some sort of monosyllabic guttural utterance. Eventually it reached the names,

“Gurf!” A grunt.

“Carg!” A burp.

“Bob!” A growl.

It was at this name that Fortune, an associate of Dunn (the DoM duelist who had much at stake in this meeting) leaned over to one of the Rhydin officials. With an air of humored curiosity, Fortune asked of the official,”Bob?” To which the official responded with solemn nod, “He was named by humans that found him rummaging around in their trash. He was but a tiny goblining at the time. Poor thing has had such a life of ribbing with that name.”

Fortune returned the solemn nod in understanding, but held a grin in his eyes.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The roll call continued.

“Derge!” A grunt.

“Kaught!” A growl.

“Aulywsheius!” The response was a burp that neigh peeled the tarps from the floors of all the rings, and which caused everyone and everything present to duck and cover.

As all peeked from their hiding places, and slowly returned to their seats, Fortune turned a questioning look to the Rhydin official. The official responded, “Aulywsheius, another human naming.” The answer was left at that.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

After recovering his pen, which had been sent careening into one of the rings by the burp, Morg continued the roll call.

“Nertzer!” A growl.

“Mudslug!” A caugh.

“Bugarnut!” A growl.

“Lomzurg!” A groan. (He was still recovering from being tossed bodily by the burp into a post.)

“Fulgram!” A grunt.

“Hardag!” A growl.

“Jorgzam!” A snort.

“Karg!” A surprising reply in its length and academic tone, “Present. And I must interject here my great anticipation of discouraging and debating this issue with my comrade goblins. It is truly time we lifted our voices in one resounding hymn and decried the abuses, subtle and overt, that we have endured over the ageless eons…”

Before Fortune could even open his lips to ask, the Rhydin official was answering. His tone was hushed as he did not want to interrupt Karg’s continuing oratory. “Karg spent several years tending one of the greatest Libraries in all the multiverse. He ate several dictionaries and thesauri. He has not been the same goblin ever since.” The last was said with a sighful shaking of head. Fortune leaned back into his seat, and considered how this Karg might do in the Dragon’s Library at Castle Leix.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All this while, Karg had continued his eloquence leaving Morg tapping his fingers against the podium’s surface. When Karg finally finished, Morg muttered something about a little knowledge being a dangerous thing. Hammering away at the podium again, in hope of waking all the goblins that had fallen asleep during Karg’s oration, Morg moved to finish the roll call.

And the meeting continued.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

After the roll call, Morg decided a short recess was in order. Despite having ignored the gavel earlier, Morg was not able to get in even the second tap before the goblins had cleared the bleachers. The kitchen and bar were humming with activity as both goblins and observers drank, ate, swallowed, munched, chewed, snarfed, quaffed, and generally consumed everything possible.

The obligatory food fight ensued. Half the goblins were throwing food in a culinary barrage. Half the goblins were eating the fusillade. Having been one of the goblins that spent countless hours cleaning the kitchen after it was Dunn-in by an explosion, Prak yelled at the combatants, “Look at this mess you’re making! Who’s gonna clean it?!” The unified reply came from all sides, “Make Dunn do it!”

The cheers were deafening.

Some forty minutes, and seventeen courses later, Morg gaveled the meeting back to order. The bleachers were stuffed with gorged goblins. The observers retook their seats at the various tables and chairs.

And the meeting continued.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 3:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Morg ushered the meeting quickly through the more mind-numbing details of the by-laws and constitution under which GARBAGE operated. Some questions arose as to the name of the union. Certain goblins prone to more egalitarian thought raised issue with the seemingly sexist nature of GARBAGE.

Lomzurg put it most simply. “-Brotherhood- Against Goblin Exploitation don’t let das girl goblins join us. And wes needs them, yep, really.”

Karg added his copious agreement. “Aye, brother Lomzurg puts the matter quite eloquently. If we are to ascend to the very summit of freedom from oppression, it cannot be on the backs of our sistren who must equally share in the glorious vision that comes at such glorious heights! We must raise all those who have oppression. ~Dunn~ to them.
We must be champions….”

And for about twenty minutes Karg continued in this line of exhorting.

Morg would have interupted sooner, except he himself had fallen asleep in the first minute. Had it not been for a very mild burp from Aulywysheius (a mere 1.6 on the Aulywysheius scale) Morg and most of the other goblins may well have continued sleeping. As it was, the burp stirred them (along with several of the branches on near by trees) to action.

Morg gaveled twice. Karg paused mid expounding, and looked at the podium. Morg was quick to take advantage of the pause. “Karg, tell me something. What is the first half of this union’s name?”

A hesitant Karg replied,” Greater Army of Rhydin?”

“Very good.” Answered a yawning Morg. “Now,” he continued,” who controls the Greater Army of Rhydin?”

Karg was about to answer, but the front section of the goblins could be heard thinking aloud with the always impressive “Duuuuhhhhhh…” Morg answered them with a simple motion to the very last section of the bleachers in which were sitting some very buff looking female goblins.

While the rest of the goblins proceeded to drool over the sight, Karg grinned to Morg, and retook his seat with an embarrassed, “Nevermind.”
Morg sighed, gaveled the attention back to the podium, and shifted his notes.

And the meeting continued.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 3:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, after debating a few of the finer points of the GARBAGE constitution, Morg moved towards adjournment. A feeling of not having actually done enough pervaded the assembly, and something needed to be done to address this before the meeting could be suspended and the goblins returned to their tasks tending Twilight Island and the Duel of Magic.

Morg opened the floor to discussion. “Who so has idea as to how best to convey our serious intent in these matters, let them speak now.” The following clatter ensued.


A universal, “Sit down, Karg!”

.......................................... “Serve ‘em in the dirty mugs and stuff!”

“We are supposed to use clean ones?”

...........................................“Use all da muddy water ‘sted uh da clear junk!”

“Isn’t the muddy water da gud stuff?”

........................................... “Dunt peel the peanuts, make ‘em do it demsefs!”

“We not s’pose t’eat da shells?”

............................................“Kick Dunn each chance we get!”

“A universal, “Yeah!”

............................................ “And toss nuts at him!”

“Yeah!”

............................................. “An’ get Aulywysheius ta burp at him!”

An ear-stunning, but minimal damage-causing 2.4 burp on the A-scale in response.
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 3:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not able to hear for the following five minutes, Morg decided it was a good time to gavel the meeting adjourned, trusting the loyal members of GARBAGE to implement the suggestions. Not hearing the banging, but feeling the vibrations of the hammering, the goblinhood, piled atop itself as a result of Aulywysheiususm, adjourned.

And the meeting would continue.
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