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Fear the future

 
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Keirra Owens
Adult Wyrm
Adult Wyrm


Joined: 04 Sep 2015
Posts: 200
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Jobs: Locksmith, Barmaid

7060.00 Silver Crowns

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2016 11:12 pm    Post subject: Fear the future Reply with quote

Gerry hadn’t come back home, Nasya’s crib was empty. The apartment was empty, Gerry and Ginny’s phone claimed that they were well out of the service area. Keirra hadn’t moved from the rocking chair, terrified of standing and losing control of her legs. She was sure things had gotten better. She was positive, but they couldn’t have if Gerry was so willing to take the baby without a word. Memories flooded her head as her blank expression stared ahead and she rocked idly.

The first memory, was when she first met him. The smile on his perfect face when he watched her drink that toxic liquid, and asked her why. She remembered being absolutely offended by his willingness to throw out perfectly intoxicating booze for little more than a foul taste. He had admired her dedication, and she, well she hated him as she often did with—well, anyone.

Gerry had come back to campside later; they’d played in the lake. Riya and Alexander had joined in a cruel game of keep-away with the poor man’s boxers. At that point, Keirra was bruised and beaten—and the last thing she wanted to do was sleep alone. So she invited him in, and he accepted. They’d kissed, they’d touched, and nobody was ever so tender and loving—and she’d never been so scared in her life.

There were a thousand memories, him constantly coming back. Through all the abuse, through all the hitting. She’d never forget the look on his face when she told him they weren’t friends. The way she watched his heartbreak. The way he yelled at her, got so frustrated with her, and yet fought for her every day. It took her so long to understand that she was worth it. Hell, it took her a long time to see that he was worth it. So she tried, tried for him harder than anyone she ever had in her life. She changed for him, she opened herself up to him. A conversation played in her head like a broken record, and the image of them laying by the lake together.

“I mean, you have to have at least one friend, right?”

“Nope.”

“That’s gotta be really lonely.”

“I’d rather be alone. When you let yourself love someone, they just leave. And you’re stuck wondering what you did wrong. I’ll be alone forever if it means never having to feel that.”

“That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard…”


At this point, Keirra was shaking in her seat. “You promised,” she whispered softly. Swallowing hard, she pushed herself up onto thin legs, and wobbled across the floor, dragging her feet as she moved to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and heading towards the bedroom. She sat on the bed, refusing to cry. Refusing to show emotion. Half of the bottle was practically dumped down her throat. “You promised,” hissed again. “I was doing better. I was trying…” She guzzled the rest of the bottle and let the tears welling in her eyes roll down her porcelain skin. “I WAS *** TRYING!” she screamed, throwing the empty bottle at the mirror set up above the dresser. They shattered in unison, glass flying over the floor.

Keirra looked in a broken shard of the mirror, staring at half of her face as she lifted it in her hands. “I’ll never try again,” she whispered her soft vow, and let her eyes fall shut. “I will never let anyone in again. I believed you…” The splinter of mirror was tossed away, and she headed out of the room for another bottle. “I’ll never believe again.”

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Keirra Owens
Adult Wyrm
Adult Wyrm


Joined: 04 Sep 2015
Posts: 200
See this user's pet
Jobs: Locksmith, Barmaid

7060.00 Silver Crowns

Items

PostPosted: Sun Feb 21, 2016 10:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The lock on the front door clicked open, and in came strolling Gerry with the baby tucked into one arm. Keirra’s eyes widened, and she looked up at him with an alert expression on her tired face. “Gerry… Did you forget something?” she asked, acid dripping off of her tone as she rushed over to pull the baby from his arms.

Confusion was painted over his puppy dog expression, and he sort of laughed it off. “Baby,” he started. “There was a family emergency, Ginny and I had to rush home,” he said, wrapping her up in those big, strong arms that dwarfed her undersized body. “We had to take the tiny poop machine because you weren’t home,” was said against a kiss on top of her head.

That lone gesture was enough to make her melt against him as she held the baby to her body and looked up at him with wide eyes. “I thought… I thought you left me,” she said, voice cracking pathetically as the sun filtered in through the windows and brightened up her face.

“Never,” he said softly. “Oh, baby. I’m sorry I should have left a note,” he continued to wrap her up, assure her that he wasn’t going anywhere. After a few moments, he pulled back at turned to the window. “You know it’s a really nice day out, let’s get some ice cream,” he said with a smile, opening up the door. Cradling the child closely, she followed him out. One arm held the baby, the other was looped with his. The more they walked, the further her brow furrowed. Finally, he looked over and nudged her lightly, “What’s up?”

Keirra looked up at him and crinkled her nose, “I drank all night last night, I haven’t eaten…”

“Wanna get some dinner and then ice cream?”
he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I…” Keirra looked down at the baby as if she were a stranger. “I’m just wondering how I feel so good right now. How I can hold the baby, and walk out in the light… How I can hold your hand, and I’m just… Not mad? Not even a little… Isn’t that weird?”

“Not really,” he said without much thought.

“But I-”

“Keirra,” he cut her off and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I just wanted you to enjoy our time together, but,” he sighed. “It’s because this isn’t real,” he gestured to the nice day outside, then to the baby, and finally himself. “None of it is,” he whispered softly.

With that, her eyes opened and she sat up in the bed, a sharp breath flooded into her lungs, and she wiped away at her teary eyes. It was the morning, but the day was certainly not a day to walk to an ice cream shop with a baby. The apartment was empty and silent, and she looked absolutely desperate towards the exit of the bedroom. There was nothing but silence. "It's never going to be real again..." Keirra’s eyes snapped around and the room was dark, her body smelled of sweat, and her hair of vomit. Finally, she looked toward the night stand. There was a bottle of pills, and another of whiskey. She fought the cap, pried it open, and dumped a few pills into her hand, washing them down her throat with the help of the toxin. A croaking breath left her as she sobbed against her pillow, and threw the blankets over her head. A few minutes, several shuddering breaths later, and she was still against the sheets.

_________________

I'm a cheat, a thief, a user!
You know this is true!
Or is it?
'Cause I'm kind of a compulsive liar, too!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Keirra Owens
Adult Wyrm
Adult Wyrm


Joined: 04 Sep 2015
Posts: 200
See this user's pet
Jobs: Locksmith, Barmaid

7060.00 Silver Crowns

Items

PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 9:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stumbling from the kitchen to the dining room, with a bottle of whiskey in hand, Keirra groped the wall for support. She’d only got up to use the bathroom and feed the dog—and of course, to grab another bottle—before she was heading back. Stopping there by the wall, she felt her weak knees wobble without grace. She was weak, malnourished, and everything was hazy.

Starscream had wolfed down her food, and was now sitting behind Keirra, whining lightly. She touched her nose to Keirra’s boney thigh which was uncovered. The only clothing she wore was a long shirt, and not for modesty’s sake. Watery eyes barely opened as that cold nose touched her, and the squeaky whine blessed her ringing ears. “He’s not coming back,” she whispered in a hoarse tone, lyrics rasping out of her mouth.

The worst part was, in all of her foggy perception, memories of her husband and child were still clear in her mind. The day she’d first moved in was the freshest. The apartment was different, but the furniture and sentiment were alike. She’d remembered wanting to cook him breakfast, but with a life of thievery, lies, and misdeeds, she’d never taken the time to perfect her culinary skills. So, instead of eggs, and bacon, he’d got a poorly measured bowl of cereal with the grain to milk ratio way off. Back then, for Keirra, the gesture was absolutely kind, and he ate and opened up, and they fought, and she ran, and he chased.

Now? Keirra was alone with a worried pup, and a drinking problem. He’d left her, he’d given up on her… Part of her hated him—hated him—for leaving her like this… So why, then, would she still give anything to go back in time and relive those moments? Why would she give anything to have him back there, holding her, and assuring her that everything was going to be alright? There was something seriously wrong with her head.

Reeling her fist backward, she slammed it forwards into the wall. The paint cracked, and the blow (which was the sum of the last bit of her energy) barely dented the wall. There were previous holes in the wall from other occurrences of cognizance, but that was the smallest one. Her fist was battered, bruised and bloody; but she didn’t feel a thing. For what seemed like the thousandth time, since she’d condemned herself to the apartment, she sank to her knees and let out a soft sigh as her head met the wall and she just leaned there. A deep breath was taken in as if to try and refuel herself somehow, and in the same inhalation, she tilted the bottle back and dumped the liquid toxin down her throat.

Her phone was on her nightstand, but had no missed calls, she’d checked throughout the week for messages, for signs of life, but nothing, no one.

So, alone she sat, and alone she stayed in a pit of self destruction and a haze of emotions. One thing she knew for sure, no matter how much she hated him, she’d always love him—and she hated herself for that.

_________________

I'm a cheat, a thief, a user!
You know this is true!
Or is it?
'Cause I'm kind of a compulsive liar, too!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
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