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All Seeing. All Knowing. All News.
Volume 1 • Issue 3 • Page 3RhyDin - August 2006

Death of a Shoe Maven

By SHARON GOSSIP

On June 29, Vera Violet Vanderslice died unexpectedly while attending a dinner part at the Lord and Lady Longden Palatial Estate. Authorities claim the incident a tragic event but say there were no obvious signs of foul play.

"We didn't even bother with a detective, the physician involved is a longstanding member of our community and we took him at his word." Stated the Police Chief of the upper Northside RPD, the precinct nearest the couple's palatial estate.

Gavilean Starfare

Mrs. Vanderslice as she was lying dead in the Longden's dining hall. The Count was heard saying, "The chateaubriand was absolutely to die for."

"Mrs. Vanderslice had a congenital heart defect" claimed Frank, the morgue attendant, who had arrived in time to overhear the attending physician give the cause of death to Mrs. Vanderslice's widow. "He, (ed. The widow), said he knew all about her condition, but never thought she'd drop dead on him. Said he wasn't that lucky."

Mr. Vanderslice had this to say when questioned: "The pork was a little under cooked, not at all to my preferences, but otherwise it was a splendid meal. I really appreciated the wine; Lord Longden has excellent tastes in wine and shoes. You know, those ugly, cheap shoes of yours really don't add to your professional image, young lady. You should stop by my

store sometime and let me put you in a pair of real shoes."

When pressed about the death of his wife, Mr. Vanderslice replied: "She had a bad heart, poor thing; it was bound to give out sooner or later. I'm just glad it was sooner rather than later."

The coroner's report was a simple affair, signed by the attending physician, it read: "Died of a bum ticker."

Upon further investigation it has come to light that the Longden's seemed to be somewhat cursed when it comes to employees. Recently they've lost a groundskeeper through yet another fatal yet explainable event and several others have left their jobs under suspicious circumstances. Although none of the current or former employees were willing to go on record speaking about their employers, it is obvious that many fear the couple.

There is much speculation that the Lady Tara Longden is flagging insanity and some even suggest that she may be abused by her husband, the Count Talomar Longden, although appearances seem to prove opposite. Lady Longden is well known for her liberal offerings of death threats to many in the realms. The Lady Tara is affiliated with the Family Bloods and has been romantically linked with Luse, one of the more popular of family members. Allusions to a cover-up are inevitable, yet none in the legal system seem concerned.

"Why, we think quite highly of the Count and Countess, there is no reason to assume they are up to no good, just because some old lady drops dead while having dinner at their house. It's ludicrous of you to assume such a terrible thing!" Proclaimed one of RhyDin's finest which refused to be named.

Mrs. Vera Violet Vanderslice's burial was scheduled for July 1st, although none were in attendance for her final outing; it should be noted that the Longden's did however send flowers.

Saving the Baby Rhy'Dinian Mongoose!

By PHYSHRA PINK

On Saturday, July 1st at the crack of Oh- Gods-what- the- frak- am- I- doing- awake- at- this- hour- Amaltea- must- die this reporter donned her most spiffy sporty outfit and attended the Four Mile Run to Save the Baby RhyDinian Mongoose at one of the various parks in Old Town. Don't ask me which one, I was already half into my cups and wound up getting lost a dozen times before arriving just as the starting musket went off.

Mind you, this reporter didn't actually run, I was there but to report on a cause the insanely wealthy throw their surplus money at in order to feel good about themselves when they should really try handing out that cash to the truly needy and destitute. Buy a cheeseburger for that homeless guy down on the corner, why don't you? That teenage girl on the docks trying to decide just how far she'll go for a warm, dry place to sleep? Let a little of that money flow from your tight-fisted hand when you pass her by, no strings attached I say!

So, there I was for the Save the Baby RhyDinian Mongoose run, watching a passle of folks sweating through their lycra, when I spied a carriage in unrelieved black decorated with a sign proclaiming it the Water Wagon and directing thirsty runners to stop there for refreshment. I don't know what they were putting in that water, maybe it was just the July heat, but, if I were a betting woman, and I am, I would wager every runner stopped to grab a bottle and to thank the unseen good samaritan handing it out.

I tried to get close enough to talk to the good samaritan, but the throngs were too thick and this reporter was in deadly need of a frozen margarita. As there was not much occurring at the run to Save the Baby RhyDinian Mongoose other than running and sweating, I decided two days later to do a follow-up. Get the runners thoughts, so to speak, on what they felt was accomplished and how far their efforts truly went towards saving the little rodent.

What I discovered, readers, did no less than to send me straight to Dickey's Dirk and Dagger where I ruminated over the irony while dousing myself with large quantities of dirty martinis.

Approaching the home of the first runner I stopped by to interview, the door was barred with a black wreath. When I knocked, a tearful woman appeared and politely, if sorrowfully, told me that her husband who had attended the run for the Mongoose had inexplicably dropped dead. He had been a healthy, athletic male in his early sixties with no medical problems, readers.

Well, to spare you unneeded grief I shall tell you that this reporter visited fifteen homes that day and at everyone it was the same story. All the runners of the Save the Baby RhyDinian Mongoose Four Mile Run that I went to interview were dead, passed on, croaked. All but one of those fifteen were considered in peak physical condition and of an age that such unexplained deaths seemed suspicious at best. At least to this reporter's mind.

It just goes to show you. Instead of throwing money towards the saving of a small rodent, maybe you should be thinking of saving yourself. One never knows when the reaper is coming to call. Especially in this town. Oh, and anyone out there with excess monies they want to toss toward a good cause? Head right on over to the offices of The Oracle and ask for Physhra Pink or Sharon Gossip, have we got a worthy one for you!


Lawyer - Gutted, Burnt, Decapitated!

By TERA STARFARE
July 13, 2006

Parents it is my duty to inform you that you may want to not allow your children to read this particular article this month as the details are gruesome and may not be suitable for them to read.

It was with great glee (it sounded like to me) that our very own Red Dragon Inn bartender, Sid, reported to me after having witnessed it herself, and I suspect been a part of it, the violently gruesome and outright brutally gory removal from the world of a partner from the DCH law firm here in town.

When I arrived it was obvious that something big had just happened in the common room so I raced to the scene to get what information I could as quickly as possible. What met my startled gaze was nothing less than complete carnage.

A huge pool of blood was upon the wooden floor and standing there holding only a head was something that I had not seen before in town. A behemoth sized frozen caveman that oddly enough I could detect the scent of tag body spray lingering about his person mingling with the strong scent of a fresh kill.

These are the events that had happened in Sid's own words: "Howe, lawyer sleaze bag with DCH. Gutted by Luse. Decapitated by m'boyo Frozen Caveman and burnt to an inside crisp by Tasha."

Therefore I can tell you that this Lawyer Howe was indeed dead as a doornail faithful readers as the frozen caveman offered me his head as a gift. However before I could accept the kind offer the head vanished into thin air.

What this means I am not yet certain but there is no doubt it must mean something as no head just vanishes once it has been ripped off a body like that one had been.

If you see this head please come to The Oracle building and let one of the reporters know as it is now missing. Any information that you have on a Mr. Howe, or the law firm of DCH, would be greatly appreciated as well as the missing head once belonged to him.

Harbor News

Gavilean Starfare

RhyDin harbor has become increasingly busy with the arrival of more merchant ships, pirate ships, and other seafarers. The harbor is now a busy, thriving place of commerce that brings not only wealth to our city, but also many more pirates and merchants to the Red Dragon Inn. Shown above is Captain James Black's Sea Wolf as she approaches the RhyDin harbor.

Soul Stealer On The Prowl

By TERA STARFARE
July 18, 2006

I was witness to two citizens of our fair city attempting to regain the stolen soul of a little baby on July 18, 2006. These fearless common people just like you and I did not heed the fact that they were dealing with a God that steals other people's souls.

The one named Narutro who is some kind of a fox boy from what I could tell rushed forward to do battle with this God named Hadies that had stolen the baby Aries' soul a bit ago this very evening.

A shy female by the name of Hinata was doing her best to barter what she could to regain this baby's soul from Hadies but Hadies was refusing everything the two of them were offering.

When asked what he wanted for the soul of this poor child all he would say was "You have to make a deal involving a female got it." This led me to believe that this was no real God but someone that was only looking for a date and had decided that the only way they were going to get one was by stealing souls.

I told that to Hadies while Narutro was stabbing him with his kunai repeatedly in the chest and the God replied to me that I should go hundreds and hundreds of years without one.

I felt our conversation, Hadies and mine, was just getting interesting when Narutro called forth something I have never seen before and blasted the God through the wall and into the back alley of the Inn.

Needless to say I followed them out but what I saw there was more fighting and I sadly did not have another chance to speak with this Hadies yet.

Be careful faithful readers for this Hadies is stealing souls and I believe is indeed looking for a date before he will return them to their rightful owners.


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