DEAR EDITOR, The recent actions of the "Lawful Citizens demanding Protection" have prompted me to write the following response for publication. Thank you for the consideration. XENOGRAG THU-DARELIR, BEY OF XENODAR
DEAR XENOGRAG, Certainly! Here's the letter you submitted to our friendly Citizens Demanding Protection.
An open letter to the "Lawful Citizens Demanding Protection":
You demand fair protection for your "daily business" whatever that is yet you destroy the property and livelihood of others. Actions speak louder than words. Pointing out injustice by committing it yourself is doubly reprehensible. You no longer abide by the laws you say you respect. You are no solution, just another problem.
You want police and protection; that presupposes the inclusion of justice. That does exist, just in less centralized forms. Guilds, neighborhoods, and other groups like yours have organized themselves and have various degrees of autonomy. Most function constructively, taking care of their own group's needs. A few, like the various thieves' guilds and street gangs, are problems like yours.
There also exists High Justice in the form of individuals with sovereign authority. While these individuals may act solely for the good of their own interests, some interests include the welfare of strangers and places not wholly their own, e.g. this city. The only appeal from high justice is in an afterlife.
Beware, for your own lawlessness shall evoke others' lawful right to protect themselves. You will have chosen your own judges, and poorly.
Bey of Xenodar
TO WHOEVER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS CATBOX LINER, I want to let you morons know that the piece of crap you all are passing off as a newspaper would be better used to wrap fish, except for the fear the fish would read it and spoil.
It's bad enough seeing the ignorant milling about what passes for life around this place without having to read the summary of stupidity and inanity every month too.
Did you bother to look and see that, in eleven pages, you managed to fit a story of violence, bloodshed, or a stupid fake fight on every page? The only stories not having to do with someone getting maimed or killed were the ones about the school, and we all know what dens of perversity they are. Never trust youth, nothing good ever comes of it.
Then there was the one about the Leprechauns again, which really is violent, because we all know what punchy bastards those Irish Fairys turn into when they're drunk. And then there were the ones about the weddings, which is just a precursor to violence, just ask my wife. Four stories out of eleven pages, you might as well make the whole thing an obituary column.
If you idiots find out any thing good going on in Rhydin, best just not say anything at all. It will keep the streets cleaner, as your rag has now started decorating the gutters, making the rats puke whenever they happen to glance at it. Sincerely, Name Witheld Because It's None Of Your Damn Business
DEAR MR. WITHELD: Thank you for telling us exactly how you feel about our paper. You held back your name, but not your opinion. Bravo! It's a shame, as we would have given you a free year's subscription to the number one paper in RhyDin. Next time.
DEAR EDITOR, I am a musician, one of many in RhyDin, who has lived and performed at several small shows in this city since I arrived in the winter. Many of the inn's regulars play solo more often than not, including the lovely drummer Trixie McAllister, the pianist Toby, and a mystery musician who can be heard playing haunting melodies on the violin upstairs in the Red Dragon Inn. Why should we play alone when we can do live performances together, even right here in the inn?
I will be talking to the boss (Panther) regarding shows, but I think it would behoove the Oracle to keep closer track of RhyDin's music scene. It would improve readership, improve attendance at shows, and offer a bigger boost to the businesses who host us. SINCERELY, KEATON J. FOX
DEAR MR. FOX: The arts could use more people like you. I hope that when your shows have an established schedule you will consider advertising with The Oracle. Music calms even the most of vile beats, maybe you should find Mr. Witheld and play some music for him.
We want to hear from you. Send your ((private)) message to Amaltea. Selected messages will be printed in the next issue of The Oracle.
All Creatures Big and Small
On July 1, 2006 that on June29, 2006 one Aiden Alexandyr was killed by the bite of a Black Dragon in the Inn in front of several witnesses. He had been seen 'keeping company' with one Ember Craven on a regular basis. However that could have changed between the time of his death. Rumors are rife surrounding the event itself as even the STEW has been mentioned as being involved in what turned into a sadly life ending event for this Inn patron and duelist. No memorial service has been scheduled or listed in memory of this upstanding citizen of RhyDin.
Garen Corlagon. Gleefully beset upon on July 8, 2006 by an astounding number of upstanding patrons of the Red Dragon Inn. Apparently there were not enough pieces and parts large enough left that could be gathered for a burial. No one will mourn this creature's passing. Everyone is overwhelmingly glad he is dead.
On July 13, 2006 Mr. Howe, one of the prominent partners of Dewy, Cheetem, and Howe Law Firm passed away in a bar room brawl the likes of which is rarely seen in the Red Dragon Inn. He appeared to be in his late forties and was in extremely good health prior to his unfortunate decapatation, gutting, and the burning of his body. He has no known surviving relatives to grieve his passing and there are no funeral services or wake scheduled for this businessman.
DESPERATELY SEEKING no one, to do nothing, at the RhyDin Springs Water factory. This person I'm looking for shouldn't exist and in doing so, must not be able to lift between 50 - 75 lbs and be customer-oriented. They will not be paid a decent wage, including medical/dental benfits, and will have no hope for a good retirement plan. The unjob includes twenty personal and vacation days that will never be used. Please do not respond to this ad in person or by telephone, we won't want to hear from you. All RhyDinians are ugly, stupid and useless anyway.
Starfare Wedding Boutique We here at Starfare Wedding Boutique offer several different plans to make that once in a lifetime occasion something that you and the love of your life can look back on with fond memories as your paths become one forevermore. For more information contact Gavilean or Tera Starfare either at their home or their mail boxes at the Red Dragon Inn.
Scathachian Sanctuary Negotiation-irradication services for victims of injustice. For consultation interview (including fees), one may contact the Sanctuary directly, or Isuelt DeRomiano at the Red Dragon Inn.
Cargo Hauling, cheeeeeeap! Courier for hire, I can take anything anywhere you want it to go. Contact box in the Red Dragon Inn, room five. Fees negotiable. Misty
Hellballs Leather Goods "When you need more than skin, Hellballs Leather Goods. After all, it's your hide you are protecting." To place your order or for more information contact Woody Sprite. You can leave a message for him at the Red Dragon Inn.
To submit your classified send a ((private)) message to the Editor.