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All Seeing. All Knowing. All News.
Volume 1 • Issue 3 • Page 9RhyDin - August 2006

Ask Tabby

DEAR TABBY: I think my teenage son has gotten involved in a cult. He started going to some temple in town and has recently begun "sacrificing" some of the animals on the farm. I'm getting very frightened for him and, to be honest, of him. What can I do? — TERRIFIED OF MY TEEN

DEAR TERRIFIED OF MY TEEN: Ack!! Sacrificing animals?? I hope he steers clear of the Inn. What did you say he looked like? ::makes note to alert all her kitty pals:: It would probably be best if you lock him in his room without food or water for 12 hours, then take him to the vet and tell him he's got distemper. They have pills that will fix him right up. — KITTY LICKS TO YOU, TABBY

DEAR TABBY: I heard you told my wife she should get me neutered! Where do you get off giving advice like that? Do you know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night and see your wife standing over your with garden shears! If I ever find out where you live, I'm gonna come down there and wring your neck. — STOP SNIPPING IN SOUTHPORT

DEAR STOP SNIPPING IN SOUTHPORT: Come onI want to see you try to wring my neck! My lady has some friends in very high places that would fry you to a crisp!!! And I'd like to know if you understand how it feels to watch your man chase every piece of tail that walks by?? Probably about as much fun as waking up with your wife standing over you with the garden shears! So if you don't like the idea of getting snipped or having your wife standing over you with shears, I'd suggested you had better stay put at home with your wife's tail or you'll be missing yours!! — KITTY LICKS TO YOU, TABBY

Have You Seen This Man?

Lucien "Lucky" Mal has been reported missing since the early morning of June 29th.

Any Information Wanted

Reward Offered!
$50,000 Silver Crowns!!!

For the whereabouts of
Lucien "Lucky" Mal.

Contact Blood House Onyx, end of Main Street leading out of town to the North.


Letter Nailed to Oracle Office Building

This letter was nailed to the door of The Oracle office building on July 21, 2006. Anyone with any information to share about this personage or their agenda is asked to please come by and give any reporter their opinion on this.

Thank you in advance!

Dear people.

How are you doing today, me, I'm fine for now.

You may know me, I doubt it, but you might.

My name is Theron, just Theron…no last name, seriously!

To the point, right.

Some time ago I landed in this place, I've been here before but the place had changed some, it seemed more…modernized what is the deal with that?

Also there is a serious lack of dragons these days, did you guys kill them all, that was very bad to do, very bad indeed. Speaking of dragons just last night, some weirdo named Curian decided to collar two of them, why did he do this…and why didn't anybody stop him, have the people of this world become so scared. I confronted him, but he ran away, so hes a coward too, I say we get a posse together and hang him for being a racist, but then again that is just me.

And what's the deal with the Self appointed "Police force" around here? these guys are annoying, I killed three of them the other week, they were gonna blow some building up, I decided they shouldn't do that because that wouldn't be nice, so I destroyed them and their souls. That showed them not to mess with nice people!

I am a firm believer in Karma, are you? You do something bad and you will get what you gave, well there in lies the rub, what if bad people get away with all their bad things and they don't ever pay for it?! what then? Well I don't know either that's why I was asking you. What do you plan to do about the rampant evil people like Curian and the rest!!

I know a wanted dead or alive ad always worked where I came from.

So wanted Dead or alive Curian.

Crime: Being a coward and a racist against dragons, and collaring Icer, the ice dragon against her will!

Reward…Satisfaction of destroying evil is all the reward you need

Next point.

Vampires. Why must they feed on Humans and the intelligent races! Vampires need blood but not Human blood! The ones who eat that are greedy and just want the powers it gives them. Vampires could easily just drink cow blood and live just fine! I think they shouldn't prey upon people, that's not right nor is it fair. Vampires are like drug addicts in a way, addicted to the power human blood gives them! This isn't right, I think it should be a crime for a vampire to drink human blood, isn't it, well it should be! I don't see why we can't enforce that rule. Nothing wrong with being a vampire, just don't eat humans!.

Next point.

Where are all the Gods and Relgions of Rhydin, who guards the gateways of the world? Where does this power come from. Am I the only full blooded god to roam this world's endless roads and defend against extra planar evils that threaten it? Yeah at this point you think I'm insane but I swear to you I am a god, I come from the grey lands and I'm here to help you guys out!, Don't believe me ask Brian Ravenlock about that way cool weapon he has! I made it myself to help him out to be Champion! This land needs more Gods to protect it from…things!

Also no letter is complete without a little shameless self promotion!

I have opened up a shop where I can create things, yes anything you may need or want I can create them, for a price that is.

So if you need weapons armor rings…magic things…one of a kind things made, come look for me and I will see what I can do!

Signed.

Theron, The green wanderer!

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